Today, I'm now the cliché specialist... except that I am proving them all wrong... at least most of them!

Dedication
To the bottle of Appleton that kept me company all weekend long and protected me in my going out and coming in. I love you.

Preface
We're in New Kingston, Jamaica. It's a typical Sunday on a tropical island. Hot sun, reduced traffic and well dressed families going to church. Always clear skies with chance of possible thunder showers... temperatures in the 90's. Humidity probably 99%. Wave height: 1 ½ meters in open waters and 1 meter in sheltered areas. Most importantly, it's Carnival day! The climax to all the events of the past few weeks. Full costume, plenty big trucks and nuff bottom in de road.

Prologue
Cliché # 1: They say, "Friends will take you, but they won't bring you back!" Well I found myself in the most serious of all-inclusive parties... head bad with premium rum. Liquor too good.. no time to locate, far less enjoy, the sobering food. So by the time de school bell ring and is time to go home, I was in one of those "body swaying... foot eh moving" conditions. My gracious, ever coy, always glamorous Driver (don't stop at all) ... Tek back we-self and bring back we-self inna one peace. She even took time out to conduct extensive search and recover missions for missing parties.

Photos By Lia H. & Collin Mc.
page 6 of 8

Chapter 1 (The Final Chapter)
Here I am, out in the streets of Mona, Jamaica looking for a band. It must have been 10:00AM when I started making my apologies and extending some wine of gratitude. Cliché # 2: "It's never long before birds start singing a different tune." Last night I man in de car crying, bawling and pleading to be taken non-stop and directly to de follow up fete. Today is only thanks and praise for delivering me directly and without delay to my bed. Cause when I saw the band coming... oh loss. What a judgment. Is man wining on woman, woman wining on man and de sun hardly even crack de sky. Dat is what we talking bout! Man vs. Carnival now start... and I snatching water bags from every single one of the roaming bar service men passing up and down with buckets of water. The pope must of sent these fellas, cause their mission was like a holy crusade... they save my life for one. Is dem drink Platoon fellas in de green T's that had me turning my face and cringing. Dem Drink Platoon men was like de little devil on meh shoulders... and I (insert sad smiley face here) eventually gave in. Who's going to blame me? It was Appleton Rum, the weather had eggs frying on the hoods of cars and the girls! Oh the girls. Woman to make man pick up vices!

Opening up was the infamous Bacchanal Babes section. Well, okay there was a Marching Band... but you can imagine why I could overlook that detail? De Bacchanal Babes! Once the candy store doors were open, I'm skipping thru the band in all my glee trying to swallow up the entire experience and not miss a single thing; and by "thing" I mean sequence of beads. Several minutes later, I whip past De Wee-Wee Truck and now hanging out with the clean up crew. Seriously it was like the aftermath of a mob scene. Minutes after the band passed... masqueraders, music, rum and wining... there's absolutely no trace that all that revelry ever took place... that's the kind of clean up that was going on in this place. No clues for CSI New Kingston!!

History Lesson
Jamaica has long since originated and perfected the all-inclusive experience through their many hotels and resorts. Bacchanal Jamaica has transposed these skills and achievements to the Carnival arena... and delivered to the world, drink carts, platoons, all-inclusive bands and wee-wee trucks. Many has come after and taken up these ideas and done excellent jobs (that's correct, TRIBE didn't invent the All Inclusive Mas Band)... but I definitely felt like I was hanging with the pioneers this weekend.

It's high noon and I knew it cause the street side vendor's mangoes started looking real appetizing. Pad lock on de gate. Without an identification wrist band, you can't dine or mingle with the stunning band members. I swear... it was de absolute best fry fish I have ever had. That, and a box juice, and I was ready to take command of the road. As the tractor trailers pulled away, Team TJJ regrouped, stretched and pledged victory to the Soca Gods that be. With the sun and it's blazing heat gone, the breeze of an overcast sky brought on a new level of excitement. All de usual water songs start to bang out from de Renaissance music truck and the unmistakable frenzy of Carnival was on. Imij & Co., direct from Trinidad, was amazing as they performed live all day long whirling the crowd into tornadoes of flags, rags and t-shirts in the sky. They buss all the already classics for 2009 including "On The Spot (Head Bad)", "Bacchanal" and "Won't Stop". The rain of course never did fall... he he he, but as the sun went down, sweat and dwindling inhabitations dripped down the face and bodies of glistening masqueraders. Although there certainly wasn't enough of me to go around and facilitate all dem loose bumsie on de road... I sure did try!

On the final stretch towards the Mas Camp for the last lap (where dinner was served mind you), the trucks made a right taking all non-costumed parade followers. The beads, feathers and hot girls went left for final drinks, wine and small talk. Perfectly executed and so necessary. The rolling stone that was the moving parade of extremely sexy guys and gals jumping to their glee in a carefree way attracted a lot of moss... when it was all over... the band had at least doubled in size surrendering the last music truck to the eager public.

It was a great day; the music was excellent, friendly masqueraders, costumes beautiful, drinks at every turn, lots of snacks, well prepared lunch stop... and a dinner with drinks inclusive Las Lap fete. A very special thanks to Bacchanal Jamaica, and not forgetting Air Jamaica and the Jamaica Tourism Board. Unfortunately, you guys are going to have to see me next year!

Final Cliché ... "All's well that ends well"

Continuing to preserve my Carnival tan,
Dr. Ram Dass

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Related Galleries
Bacchanal Jamaica 2009 Coverage